i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Randomize
