His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
