lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize