he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
this will be a night to untag.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
