We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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