Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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