I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
