Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
