i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
jump out the window naked night went bad
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