let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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