It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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