so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
