He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
