I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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