sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
