? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
