i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
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