I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
