Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
