Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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