You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
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