don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
my liver is dry heaving
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Randomize
