Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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