there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
i just made my gag reflex go away.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Randomize
