Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Randomize
