Pants 0. Shit 1.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
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