i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Terrible idea I love it
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Randomize
