Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
