But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Randomize
