ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
