Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
