I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Randomize