I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Randomize
