Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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