at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
time to smoke my breakfast
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize