I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize