apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize
