so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
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