I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
