we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
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