i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
ugly people sure do ruin things
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
It's official drugs can't kill me
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
