Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
