Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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