I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Randomize
