NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
