Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Randomize