when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Randomize
