She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize