Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
