I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
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