I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
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