Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
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