Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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