i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize