i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
