I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Randomize
