I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
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