Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
