Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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