Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Ladies don't puke and tell
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Randomize
