i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I just googled if crying burns calories
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
