Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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