if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
