Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
