do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
