I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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